I thought of two ideas for an asylum.
Bouncing Off The Walls!
In this room, the customers are are separated from the patients
by a tall chain link fence or metal grid. The floor of the patients
room is actually a trampoline! You can have them laughing and
bouncing off the walls of the cell, padded of course. They also
hit the fence and/or hang on and yell at customers. Another version
is to have slanted fence walls at a 45 degree angle and have the
patients bang and run up the side of the enclosure like wild animals
trying to get at the customers.
The 2nd idea is the Human Ceiling Crawler...
This is in a hallway with criss-cross lines painted to disorient.
The middle of the hallway ceiling looks like a painted line but
is actually a wheeled track that supports an actor in a harness.
The cross lines have handles the actor uses to pull himself along
the ceiling. To reset, have the actor go into a hole in the end
and loop it back to the front. You could probabliy motorize it...
similar to a dry cleaner's clothes rack. You could even go so
far as to have the actor in a home-made Spiderman costume!!
Just tossing ideas out there...Good Luck, Roger
Posted by Mark Kauffman (65.191.134.197) on November 09, 2002
at 14:51:35:
Over the past several weeks, quite a few insiders have asked for
my help and/or advice in regards to
marketing & advertising. I placed a post several weeks ago
announcing my company's services being offered at Transworld.
For those of you who don't know, I am the president of the Media
Imaging Company. MIC handles all worlwide advertising and marketing
distribution for Warner Bros. and Disney. We marketed internationally
over 170 feature film titles this year alone. I am not giving
you this information to try to sell my company, on the contrary,
I made a grave error offering my services in the first place.
I should have been more specific regarding our services. We offer
full advertising and marketing packages on a CORPORATE level.
Not single event marketing. However, due to the enormous amount
of inquiry and obvious need for marketing help, I am offering
the following free advice to everyone...
If you have the time, do the marketing yourself. If you do not
have the time, DO NOT hire a marketing professional (your job
would be too small for anyone who is truly a player) instead,
hire a college student or even high school school student who
is obviously popular and knows the in's and out's of their generation.
How do you determine this? It's not hard, after a three minute
interview and by general character, you'll know who's it. Remember
- don't go by personal preferrence, go by who will get the job
done. You need a popular kid who knows about everyone and everything.
Your local nerdy kid who wants to work for free will not be an
asset. Work a compensation with your new employee(s) (the more
from diferrent areas of town the better) that derives paid bonuses
from numbers brought to the attraction. For multiple employees,
you utilize differnet coupons to track each individual accomplishment.
ATTACK YOUR MARKET!!
After five minutes at the front line of your attraction, you know
who you're target audience is. For 90% of you this will be young
adults between the ages of 14-20. You don't attack this market
by placing a flyer in front of Walmart. You attack this market
at the source. You circulate your print around all the high schools
and colleges, malls, movie theatres, and hang out joints in a
40 mile block. Get to know the local "in kids" and help
sponsor a party for a saturday night in exchange for numbers to
your attraction on Thursday & Friday. Contact local bands
and make arrangments for them to play on certain nights and spread
the word. Most local bands will play for free or very little in
exchange for the exposure.
BEEF UP YOUR OUTSIDE ENTERTAINMENT...
The majority of young kids want a place to hang out for a while.
Not a 15 minute walkthrough. Why do the big amusement parks do
so well? It's certainly not because their attractions are so awesome
- it's because teenagers can go and hang out, scam, and be cool
with each other half the night. Give them a place to hang out
and they will come. IF they know about it. You can have the coolest
spot for teenagers in the world and if you're marketing to senior
citizens then the youth population will barely hear of your event.
Again - attack the market at it's source!
In the movie business, we sit 20 deep in a room talking about
nothing but who the films' market is geared too and how we can
attack that market. Every piece of print, trailer, tv spot, promo,
interview, article, and single shread of press is carefully planned
out to attack the films' target audience. If you utilize the same
formula with your event - you will see the results.
BE CREATIVE...don't think fair and don't think ethical. When it
comes to marketing anything that is legal is ethical. Publicity
stunts to draw free press, paying the cool kids off, trading favors,
INDIRECTLY bashing the competition. (this means bashing the competition
in ways that don't lead back to you) tailoring your advertising
to the market, and aggresively making your attraction an "event"
rather than a show are tools of the trade.
UTILIZE RADIO WISELY. Radio spots are great advertising, but spend
your money carefully. Negotiate for a certain number of spots,
the station will perform a live broadcast from the event with
giveaways and promotions. This should be your primary goal for
radio. This also gears your show as an event rather than show
and kids eat these things up. It doesn't matter if the local easy
listening station will do your event for free - they are useless.
Attack only the stations kids are listening to - the alternative
rock station, top 40 station, and hip hop station.
Contact the radio stations and inquire about what events they
are sponsoring around the time of your event and negotiate piggyback
sponsoring deals and trades for promotion. Research any big name
bands that are playing in your local area around the time of your
event and make sure you have half a dozen kids handing out flyers
and free refreshments in the parking lot after the show. If you
can swing it, try to have a sponsored "rave" or dance
party one night at your event.
The most important factor to your marketing should be your target
audience. Sure, scary is cool, but everyone says their haunt is
scary. Kids expect scary. so tailor your advertising to what they
don't expect and that is a "cool" event they have to
attend if they want to be anybody.
Of course this isn't an exact formula for success. A lot more
needs to go into your campaign than what I can tell you in a few
paragraphs. However, hopefully this gives you some insight and
some new ideas you haven't thouught of. Your specific market will
be different based on the parameters of your youth. Regions of
the US vary dramatically. Researching, analyzing, and attacking
those parameters once you have established them is the key ingrediant
to successful numbers.
The most important thing I can stress is be creative. to quote
a stupid TV commercial, "Think outside the box". throw
conventional marketing strategies out the window and think back
when you were 16 years old and what would it take to get you to
come to this event?
GOOD LUCK TO ALL NEXT SEASON! I HOPE YOUR EVENT EXCEEDS CAPACITY
Stephen Baker with Fast said one of the most memorable statements
I've heard as it relates to wha the engines like or don't like
to see. He said:
"Our position is pretty straight forward...it's not the technique
that we are concerned about, it's the intention."
So, always keep that statement in mind when you consider linking
or any other strategies for your Web site. Analyze your intentions,
and if you wouldn't mind an engine knowing what you're doing,
your intentions are okay.
Start with the Basics:
Link exchanging is by far the oldest and best-known method of
improving link popularity. Basically you e-mail or contact the
Webmaster of a site that is complementary but generally no competitive
to your own. You ask them to link to your site while outlining
the benefits of doing so. You would generally offer to link back
to them in exchange for this courtesy.
Be sure you have developed genuine content on your Web site of
interest to the trading partner. Explain the advantages to them
and to their visitors by providing a link to your content. Tell
them where the link on your site will be or set the link up in
advance with the stipulation that you'll be glad to leave it there
if they'll add a link to you in kind. Take the time to look over
their site and then suggest where a link to you might be appropriate.
Most importantly, personalize your e-mails! You must distinguish
yourself from all the spam they receive daily. If the link is
particularly important to you, call them personally or write them
a letter or send a fax to show them you're serious. (Brent Winters
of First Place Software)
Here's the simple means to find those good links. Go to the major
search engines. Search for you target keywords. Look at the pages
that appear in the top results. Now visit those pages and ask
the site owners if they will link to you. Not everyone will, especially
sites that are extremely competitive with you. However, there
will be non-competitive sites that will link to you -- especially
if you offer to link back. Why is this system good? By searching
for your target keywords, you'll find the pages that the search
engines themselves are telling you are good, as evidenced by the
fac that they rank well. Hence, links from these pages are more
important -- and important for the terms you are interested in
-- than links from other pages. (Danny Sullivan with Search Engine
Watch)
When asking for a link:
ALWAYS have a link already put on your own site BEFORE you ask
for a link in return and give the location of the link. It's harder
to say no if you can provide the URL of where their link is. ALWAYS
give them the exact link text to use, even going so far as to
put it in HTML so they can just cut/paste it onto their page.
MAKE SURE they actually have a links page! GIVE THEM as much information
as needed in order to make it easy for them to link to you. If
they have a big site that's divided into sections, give them the
exact URL of where your site would fit in. Then, provide the HTML
for the link to your site.
Check the link popularity of your competitors, and find out who
are linking to them. Contact those Web sites, and ask them to
link to you in return for a reciprocal link.
If you've moved your site and you're asking those who have linked
to you to change to your new URL, give them as much information
as possible. I have over 300 pages on my personal site, but I
still have people who will write and tell me to change their link
to: http://www.mynewwebsite.com.
Yet, they don't tell me their old URL (so I can easily do a search),
and they don't tell me which of those 300 pages their link exists
on. Do I have the time to dig through those 300 pages to find
their old link? (Robin Nobles of the Academy of Web Specialists
and Search Engine Workshops)
Use voice instead of e-mail to reciprocate and try contacting
people by voice instead of e-mail. More people are inclined to
respond to your request when you introduce yourself by phone and
le them know that you were visiting their site. Ask permission
to link to their site. In return, you might state that a link
back is appreciated but not required. Assuming they say yes, then
you simply link up to them and confirm by e-mail once you have
confirmed. Warm personal voice contact goes a lot further than
a cold e-mail or even a warm e-mail letter.
If someone says they cannot or do not wish to link to your site,
I would still ask their permission to link to them. Instead of
sending them a confirmation, try sending them a pleasant thank
you for permission to link to their Web site. Don't be surprised
if they DO link back. (John Alexander with Beyond-SEO and Search
Engine Workshops)
Pre-qualify the people you solicit for reciprocal links. They
must have links from other sites like yours, and they must have
the ability to make changes to their own site. If they don't respond
to your solicitation, at most send ONE second request. Otherwise
move on and take their site off of yours. Send a thank you note
if they give you a reciprocal link.
Search the sites of the people who have linked to you for other
possible link partners. (Gary Woods with Beautiful Santa Barbara
Real Estate)
Search for sites that rank high for search terms that are important
to you, then look through the search results for sites that do
not compete with you. These sites should be high on your list
of link targets. Piggy back on their high ranking. (Eric Ward,
President, NetPOST and URLwire) Find URLs that are currently linking
to one or more of your pages and ask the appropriate Webmaster
if they might also find value in other pages on your site (that
you might suggest). (Mike Adams, the Email Doctor)
Review any Web site to which you want to link *before* writing
to its Webmaster asking for a link. Like all SEO, do it manually.
Automating the task is asking for trouble, especially if you haven't
reviewed the site before asking for the link. (Gil Sery with Search
Engine Optimization Pros)
Use publicity - takes time, need to assign someone to do it, and do it well....!!
Get flyers done early.... June/July ideally
distribution is something that a haunt can offer potential sponsors that they can't do alone!
Anyway, I have decided to make a list of some of my favorite mood music that falls in the catagories of "ritual, creepy, insane, discord, etc. I think you get the picture. Some of these may be hard to find. You have trouble finding them, let me know. I may be able to help you out. The following list covers a good many genres as well.
John Tavener. A modern composer who's hauntingly open and ethereal melodies are great for the intense ritual. I highly recommend Akathist of Thanksgiving, track 2. The whole album is full of delights--each Konotaion becoming more complex than the one before it. A lot of Tavener's work is based around his Russian Orthodox faith and all of his works have this great eerie feel to them. Another good Tavener works are Eternity's sunrise, Thunder Entered Her, and A Celtic Requiem. I highly recomend the last one for you traceroo if you are doing something with an asylum. Very creepy! Children chanting about a girl that dies, playing hopscotch as her soul jumps through purgatory. Combine that with wailing soprano's, odd instrumentation and you are good to go..insane!
Continuing on my Russian Orthodox trend I also recommend a CD called Ancient Echoes. A fifteen member all male group performing Orthdox church music. Sung in Russian, this group has basses that can shakes the very foundations of the earth and counter tenors that would make the angels themselves cry. This group is so together that you can hear some awesom overtones appear through out the album. For those non musically inclined, I offer a simple explanation of that. When a group of people sing or play together and they are so in tune with each other(in the literal harmonic frequency sense) they can produce an overtone. The resonating frequencies "create" a note in the harmonic series over what is being sung or played. You get the result of a note sounding that isn't being sung/played by anyone. Cool, eh? OK. I digress--back to the music.
Another fave is Samuel Barber, Another modern composer. Try Adagio for Stings and First Essay for Orchestra for starts. The former has a great sorrowful feel to it, That later is nice haunting melodies.
Dead Can Dance. And old fave of many A LARPer.One of the main reasons I am fond of them is their blend of tradional songs with a modern feel. I also like the singing technique that lisa Gerard uses. She doesn't sing in english most of the time. She sings in what I have come to call vocalbles. They are sort of like a nonsesne word. But they have some type of a primal feel to them. They DO mean something to the person singing them. Kind of like singing in tongues, if you will. Those around me know that I am prone to burst into song. The melodies come from within somewhere and the same with the vocables I use. I do not not what they mean-only that they seem to fit what the melody wants. It comes from sprit and to sprit it goes. Right, I have digressed again.
On the primal trend, let me offer you Inlakesh. I have just come in to this group and I am currently looking for more albums. I highly recomend this one for any of you who play totem bonders at King's Gate. Filled with tradtional Didgeridoo rhythms and sounds of chanting, fire, and bull roarers, this is perfect for that trip to the Nothing Lands. Just dim your lights, burn some incense, add you favorite intoxicant and have your own vision quest on the comfort of your own couch!
I am going to add a few more suggestions briefly here.
Elliot Goldenthal. A movie score composer. Great wailing horn parts and chaotic electronica if need be. Check the scores to Interview with the Vampire, Final Fantasy, Batman Forever, and Aliens for a taste of his works. Dude, he uses theramins in some stuff. How cool is that?
Wojciech Kilar. Another movie score composer. You can find his work on Bram Stoker's Dracula, and The Ninth Gate.
And lastly, I offer the concept of sound scapes. These are
entire albums not of music, but structured abmient noise. Electronic
and natural sounds are mixed to create an atmosphere. I have one
CD, Sorcerer, that is based on the writings and journies of Carlos
Castenata. This is another one good for setting the feeling of
a peyote induced vision quest."
--------------------------
I would think that NIN, also known as Nine Inch Nails, would seem
to go along nicely with what you are starting to like. The only
problem with NIN is that there are a lot of good songs, spread
over LOTS of albums, live cds, etc. If you are looking to get
an album, I would highly suggest The Downward Spiral, it has closer
and the becoming on it, 2 of NIN's best. Pretty Hate Machine is
a great cd as well. NIN is known for its dark industrial sound.
I always have to plug Aphex Twin, even though he is not dark specifically,
and a lot of people are dubious at best towards techno. He does
some dark stuff, but most of his stuff is just weird, in a very
different, often creepy way. The Come to Daddy EP has some great
songs on it. Another good Aphex Twin album is the Richard D. James
Album, my personal favorite. Almost forgot, if you are looking
for something with a really dark deep spacey feel, check out Astrobotnia.
There are 3 astrobotnia albums (part1, part2, and part3) and they
are all awsome if that is what you are looking for. If you are
thinking of downloading this stuff... here are some of the best
songs from the above mentioned artists.
NIN - head like a hole
NIN - closer
NIN - the becoming
NIN - perfect drug
NIN - in this together
Aphex Twin - Come to Daddy
Aphex Twin - Bucephalus Bouncing Ball
Aphex Twin - Windowlicker
Aphex Twin - Flim
Aphex Twin - 4
Aphex Twin - Come to Daddy Mummy Mix
astrobotnia - hallo
astrobotnia - everyone
If you like that, I have a ton more where that came from, but
no need for me to go there now, if you end up thinking it sucks.
Good luck!
I almost forgot KMFDM! KMFDM is right up there with White/Rob
Zombie. My favorite album from them is from after they broke up
and rearanged as MDFMK. That album is MDFMK - MDFMK. Witch Hunt
on that cd is quite good. And as I write this, I am thinking to
myself, "You know self, you better not forget Rammstein!"
Oh yea! Rammstein is really good as well, if you are going for
the White/Rob Zombie type metal and you don't have a problem with
german music... Sehnsucht is a good album from them. I think thats
it!
In case anyone ever feels the need to make a fool of themselves,
here are the words to
"I'm a little monster." Can you tell I am bored at work?
(To the tune of "I'm a little teapot")
I'm a little monster
Short and stout
Here are my fangs and here is my snout
When I do my pop-out
Then I shout!
I'll tip you over and scare you out!
I have one item that I wanted to mention that I think it is
worth mentioning. I think everyone should be aware of the monster
scare rules as I call them. When working a scare on a guest be
aware of other monsters that are around you. I noticed that there
were many times when I was waiting on a scare and I was eagerly
anticipating but when the crowd or person came up there was already
a monster behind that person and several times the monster would
stand right in my area scaring the people as they passed. I know
we are all excited about the scares but I think we need to be
courteous and be aware of others around us as we all want to have
as many scares as possible.
OK. So maybe I am being an old lady but I just wanted to mention
it.
Thanks to all for a great season! Next year will be my third year
and I was not able to be as involved this year due to work schedules
and business travel but I hope to do so more next year.
Q: What do you get when you goose a ghost?
A: A handful of sheet!
There seems to be different types of scares I have noticed.
And goes for all scares. (and noticeably fleeing from a chainsaw
wielding 'granny')
1) The "school" The school tends to stick close together,
each member of the school tries to get into the center of the
group for better protection. Reminds me of tropical fish swimming
away from sharks and keeping in a tight bait ball, each fish attempting
to bet the center of the ball.
2) The "herd" The herd tend to say in some sort of formation.
When one panics they all panic and flee in the same direction
never looking back.
3) The "stampede" The stampede doesn't care if the person
in front of them is their 102 year old aunt/granny, mom, dad,
younger sibling, best friend, boy or girl friend, they want to
get away from what is coming at them and will plow over who ever
is in front of them to get away. (including anyone in a chair)
4) The "shield" Those who use others as body shields
and will grab the first person in front of them and swing them
around like a knight's shield to protect themselves.
5) The "sacrifice" Those who grab the person in front
of them, and like "the shield" will swing them around,
however they then push that person toward what is scaring them
in an effort to please the monster's appetite by giving it a sacrifice
to distract it while they flee the area. Like to throwing fresh
meat down in front of slavering wolves in hope they will pause
to devour the fresh offering and follow them.
6) The "statue" Many just freeze ether not knowing which
way to flee, or are to scare to move. Hard to get them going again.
Sometimes you just have to back off, wait till they start moving
then go at them again. It's hard to tell if they are scared or
just enjoying the show at times.
7) The "cutting of the herd" It's hard to do, but fun.
Select one from a group and cut them off from the rest of the
group. Stampeded the herd, leaving the one lone member behind
to check things out at their leisure, wondering where their friends
went and why was he left behind. (The lone person is now bait
for all the monsters to come out and get 'em).
8) The "Pause" Not easy on a busy night. When someone
is trying to fix one of the props/animations try to distract and
stop the guests from coming through. Got to be a quick thinker
and talker. Got to judge the toleration of the group, and just
how big the congo line is getting, buying time while someone is
under the table madly trying to put a bolt back into a thing so
the animated monster will attack and not get stuck halfway out
of it's home and look dorky. Then allowing the guest to go, and
attacking the whole Congo line as they pass you. Herd cutting
is good here, to divide the big group back into a smaller ones.
9) The "teleport, jump" Wait for just the right distraction
while your guest is looking away then in 2 or 3 steps "appear"
right beside them. Just a growl, huff, or hi sometimes gets them.
Very effective when you can do it repeatedly to the same person.
Works well on small groups. Makes the guest 'jump' mostly.
Granny stuff:
10) The "Supper time children!" Granny's favorite. Team
scare. (see the herd, using chain saw) While herding a group into
the dinning hall from outside the mansion, soon as they hit the
dinning area, cut the chain saw off (or not use the chain saw
and just follow the group in) and scream "SUPPER TIME CHILDREN!"
All ghouls behind the curtain and table jump up and attack the
group from all sides. VERY effective. Feeding all those grand
children can be so hard if fresh meat is not available on a steady
basis.... Works well if you can also back them up to the chain
door or portrait drop and have the monster behind it wait for
just the right moment to attack... muahahaha! I really love it
when this naturally falls into play! What a great team work!
11) The "Sweet - Tart" Second favorite. Only works well
with props or chainsaw. Hide the prop behind hind your back or
side. You stay in plan view. Talk "nice to the group. "I
just love it when dinner brings its self." "My, oh my,
yes I do. Why you look nice and juicy, you look good and chewy,
you look nice and crunchy, Oh what a sweet couple, I'll save you
for dessert! No! In fact I think I'll HAVE dessert RIGHT NOW!
IT'S DINNER TIME!" Prop appears threaten group with it, or
crank chainsaw up go at them. (Many varrents to what you can say,
ie.. "I'm so hungry, you can tell I eat a lot.... Lets see...
Save you for breakfast, you for a snack, you for lunch, you for
afternoon snack, Oh yes, my oh my, you for dinner good and plump
you are, and you for dessert! It's supper time! SUPPER TIME! I
think I'll have Supper right now!" (start chain saw). Etc.
The "Stampede" usually results from this for some reason.
*** Tips on working the chainsaw if you are giving chase. By trial
and error on what works best. Always keep it close to your body.
If raised keep it over your head, be aware if anyone is behind
you. Make yourself look bigger, stick those elbows out to the
sides. (works really good for any scare) Make yourself look bigger
while the saw is over your head sway back and forth from the waist
up. If aiming at their legs, come at them with the saw, then turn
your side or rear toward them to guard them from hitting the saw.
Easy start, hold the rip cord with one hand, the saw in the other.
Press the kill switch down (one on top of the handle) and allow
the weight of the saw to help pull the cord by 'dropping' the
saw downward (don't turn loose!) Sometimes you have to hit the
throttle switch at the same time (careful you don't flood it).
Sometimes you have to make sure the kill guard in front of the
saw is ether pushed or pulled, most important, make sure the switch
is still on when trying to start it...
Important too, when about to start make sure you have the drop
or swinging room to get the chain cranked, look behind you, there
may be an actor waiting to help you scare the group.
Health warning to all actors, If Granny is loose in the house
with the the saw, approach her only from the left side. Never
the right side or you may get bumped when she trys to crank the
saw up, It's the only way I can get the thing crank by "drop
swinging it" this includes the exit flaps, please look before
leaping.
Okay, it may not be every little syllable, but basically this
is it.
Do not touch the Monsters. No tocan los monstruos. -no token lohs
moan-stru-ohss.
Do not touch the scenery or props. No tocan las decoraciones (sounds
something like deco-Rice-a-Roni). -no token lahs deco-rah-SEE-oh-nays
No photography (of any kind). No fotografias (de cualquieras tipas).
-no foh-toh-grah-fee-ahs (day qual-key-eras tee-pahs).
The green exit signs are for emergency use only. Las luces verdes
de "Exit" son por emergencias solas. -lahs lu-says vair-days
day "Exit" sohn pohr ay-mare-hen-see-ahs soh-lahs.
Failure to obey the rules will result with removal from NetherWorld.
Si no obedicen las reglas, estaren preguntado a salir NetherWorld.
-see no obey-dee-sehn lahs reg-lahs, ehs-ta-rehn pray-goon-tah-doh
a sah-leer NetherWorld.
Tom V
1.No matter how bored you get, it is not prudent to dance in
your pop-out closet. Singing is probably a bad idea too.
2.It doesn't matter if it's snowing outside. Prepare to melt into
a puddle of latex and paint inside said pop-out closet.
3.If you drink 50 oz of water, you will sweat out 51 oz of water.
Then you will fall over. And really, that's only scary the once.
4.There is nothing that a popsicle and a wooden coin can't fix.
5.The guy that just went outside and dumped a bucket of blood
over his head looks just as cool as the guy that just spent three
and a half hours layering his face in latex.
6.Sometimes a bald guy in over-alls is scarier than both of them
put together. Metaphorically speaking.
7.You had better learn to recognize a person by their general
build, because the "Jenny" and "Chris" you
met ten minutes ago are not going to have the same face, voice,
posture, or threads after make-up and costuming get throught with
them. On a side note, get ready to introduce yourself repeatedly
on a nightly basis.
8.Given a high-school cheerleader, an old towel, a pack of crayons,
and some elmer's glue, the Make-up team can create a two-headed
axe murder victim realistic enough to make in onto The X-files.
9.Given a black sheet, some crumpled up note-book paper, three
staples, and fifteen minutes notice, the Costume Shop can create
a historically accurate, state-of-the-art, working model of god.
10.Forget the money: You buy and maintain Haunted Houses so that
you can dress as a Werewolf or Cthulu whenever you damn well please.
11.It is customary, when joining a Haunted House, to change your
name to a random noun or animal like Weasel or Spot. Henceforth
I shall be known as Lampshade.
12.The $5,000 you just spent on a custom Mad Scientist's lab will
get fewer screams than the sheet of plywood, three dollar bag
of rubber roaches, and strobe light across the hall.
13.Towards your second week of work, you will be tempted to rip
the living heart out of your chest because it reminds you too
much of the endless 'beating heart' track at the House.
14.Same goes for the dogs barking.
15.And the monkeys. Stupid monkeys.
16.That high pitched screaming is the Quarterback, not his girlfriend.
And he'll be shoving her through the door first, so stand back.
17.It doesn't matter how ugly you've been made up, or how much
gore is layered on your face, they're gonna ask for your number,
a date, and for you to bear their children.
18.Oh--And at least once a season, you will meet a chick whose
automatic reaction to fear is to flash you.. If you're lucky guys,
she'll come back twice.
19.Patrons, shmatrons. A Haunted House actor's primary goal is
to scare the crap out of the other Haunted House actors.
20.You're mentally adding to this list, aren't you?
21.It doesn't matter if you graduated from Ringling Brothers and
your father knew Emmett Kelly, when you leave this House, you'll
never look at a clown the same way.
22.You find yourself buying anatomy books so that you can more
accurately recreate flesh wounds.
23.You will memorize the 6 types of blood and from which parts
of the body they originate.
24.You knew there are more than 6 types of blood, and were planning
on berating me next time you saw me.
25.You gotta love a job where you get hired mainly on your uncanny
ability to exaggerate your imperfections.
26.It doesn't matter what you try, at the end of the night they're
gonna remember the chainsaw. Stupid chainsaw.
27.The phrase "If you touch me, I'll scream for the Cop"
works surprisingly faster than "If you touch me, I'll rip
your testicles out through your spleen".
28.Getting your patron to fall over is a time-honored tradition.
29.At least once a night, a couple will stroll through the House
like they're shopping at Walmart--More interested in the position
of your pop-out and the webbing technique in the corner than in
the fact that you're screaming 6 inches from their faces, waving
a butcher knife. Your only comfort is that you know you do the
same thing when you're at their House.
30.Mmmm.. Butcher knife.
31.You will make up gorey lyrics to random songs during the forty-five
minutes of down-time on Tuesday nights, if just to see if you
can fit them into scares.
32.You've composed Netherworld: The Musical. And sold the rights.
Twice.
33.Aluminum siding and bananas are far more terrifying than you
could have ever previously imagined.
34.The pissed-off secretary, frustrated student, and recently
divorced musician will always be more aggressive in their scares.
Just stand back and be thankful of the "No touching"
rule.
35.On a Monday night, it can take a patron two and a half hours
to get through the House, as opposed to the twenty minutes it
took him last Saturday night.
36.Twenty of those minutes will be spent in Arches, singing "I'm
A Little Tea Pot".
37.You will find yourself wondering aloud about how to better
word your threats of flaying the skin off your patrons, eating
their livers, and drinking their blood.
38.Three people will gladly help you with examples of what works
for them.
39.Ice cubes are worth their weight in gold, and at certain points
in the season, you will gladly trade vital organs for a cup-full.
40.You find, through trial and error, that fake blood actually
looks better than real blood. And lasts longer.
41.You get home at 2 a.m. and find yourself thinking "Ah...
It's so nice to get home at a decent hour".
42.After dramatically peeling the latex from your face for the
last group of the night, you will learn that there is always one
more group in the house than you thought.
43.After anxiously bending over the bloody corpse of your victim
with a grimace frozen on your face for twenty-five minutes, you
will eventually learn to depend on your sound cues.
44.Minutes after learning to rely on these, your sound cue will
break, and patrons will find you sitting next to your bloody corpse,
lounging realistically.
45.When your ride arrives to pick you up and they ask for 'the
screaming girl covered in boils who usually wears a hospital gown',
they will be asked to be more specific.
46.It is a sin to touch someone else's water bottle, fake teeth,
or squeaky toy.
47.The prop bodies look real. The actors look fake. This is, of
course, not for scares, but so the actors will never know if they're
being supervised. It also ensures that I will, under no circumstances,
leave my closet without an escort.
48.You will have a hard time explaining to the people at your
Intervention that you are not in a severely abusive relationship--You
just need better soap.
49.You will learn the hard way that you should always make sure
the spider web is fake before walking through it for that cool
aged effect.
50.The '50 Things I've Learned' list will soon be 'The 100 Things
I've Learned' list because of the addendum that will no doubt
be submitted by my fellow actors entitled 'The 50 Things Jen Failed
To Mention'.
Jen Doran 50 Things Enthusiast
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51. You have decided that the fog really does not smell that bad.
52. If you go home and instantly realized that you miss the house
already.
53. The house is not as hot as your costumer makes it. Yeah right
54. If you are limited in the amount of blood you can have in
a night, and dont think twice about it.
55. When you get a group of football jocks, who are holding each
other like scared little girls, and they all scream and run into
each other, you get flashbacks to you high school times when you
were getting wedgied by the very same jocks and think "well
who is your bitch now !"
----------------------------
57 PARENTS ARE SCREAMING WHILE THIER CHILDREN LOOK AT THEM LIKE
THEY ARE STUPID.
58 EVERY FOOTBALL PLAYER HAS ALWAYS LEFT THIER GIRLFRIENDS BEHIND
TO FENED FOR THEMSELVES.
59 YOU KNOW THE PEOPLE ARE IN TROUBLE WHEN ANTHONY IS IN THE ARCHES
AND ASKING PEOPLE IF THEY WANT HIS P.
---------------------
#70- Going home at 2 in the morning in full makeup and seeing
the look on your 13 year old sister's face as you stand over her
bed, gently shaking her, and waiting for her to turn the light
on is priceless. Especially when she briefly forgot where you
work.
72? - Rushing from work to get to the house and realizing that
you forgot your comfortable shoes and working all night wear shoes
that were not made to stand in for five hours.
73 - Having someone throw up on you is not so bad when you realize
that you must have had one hell of a scare.
74 - Realizing that the mask which looked so cool that you begged
to wear is not so cool when you are sweating your face off.
75 - Wondering exactly what the smell is and realizing that it
might be coming from the person you are sharing the pop with.
76 - Realizing that that really good scare where you whipped back
the curtain was not so good when the curtain rips and you have
to spend the rest of the night holding it up.
77 - Wondering why exactly you choose to wear a white shirt that
makes you stand out so you are easily spotted?
78 - Wondering how someone could get so drunk that he gets himself
wrapped up in the camaflouge netting and get all of the buttons
on his shorts wrapped up and being so drunk he just takes his
shorts off in front of you.
79 - Realizing this is the best damn crew ever!
-------------------
80. Going into Q.T with black out around your eyes with your boyfriend,
and having a guy pull you to the side and tell you that you do
not deserve to be with a man who beats you.
81. As you wait for your next victim, you constantly look back
to make sure that other actors are not trying to sneak up and
scare you.
--------------------------
101: There are at times 60 actors the costume armory has to dress.
The 59th person mentions that it is hot and they don't like to
sweat, don't want to wear a mask, and/or make up and a costume.
Of course the other 58 people before him aren't hot, don't sweat,
and have never complain about it. The 59th person wonders why
they just had their lungs ripped out and turned into a state of
the art blood soaked jump suit for the 60th actor.
From Yo-Boo... "voodoo snake ladies" thing... As you approached the scene you heard the sounds of lot's n' lot's of snakes SSSsssssing.. There was one gal, all decked out in pasty white make- up, with a real boa around her neck, chanting somekind of non-sense.. There was also a bunch of rubber snakes all over the ground and hanging in the trees. As you walked into the scene another gal in a tree screamed drawing your attention upward...When you looked up you see a large fruit basket over head filled with more snakes. The tree lady then turns somekind of crank that overturns the basket and all the snakes tumble down at ya... until they reach a hieght of about 7ft. where a bunch of guide cords stop their fall.
One thing you might want to consider doing with your scenes is arranging them so they can work from either or side or both sides of the trail. The first year I did the Haunted Trail with the Jaycees I found that people were walking the far side of the trail around most of the scenes, so giving them a scare was a little more difficult than in a house where they are in a 36" to 40" hallway. The next year we set up a majority of the scenes as walk throughs and it worked much better. Facades can work, the first year we did the trail we made the entrance facade up as a castle, the year after we did an old abandoned house. A couple of ideas for walk throughts that would not be to out of place outside:
A cemetery with crypt/mausoleum
A bridge, we had a drop in the trail that we built a bridge over, it worked out nice
A mine shaft, again the year we did this, it was a very popular scene
A old house or Hillbilly shack.
Premise: a sign warns of "pond creature". Various body parts/bones scattered around the edge. Maybe a hand hanging onto the railing (pulled off the arm trying to hold on). As they cross the bridge a trail of bubbles suddenly appear and head for the bridge. They watch the pond side when suddenly a "creature" pops up from behind them! Guaranteed wet pants!
well, for one thing, if you have a bridge, or ANY OTHER structure with which your victims will come in contact, I would definitely employ a bass shaker.