Home in the Grave

O give me a home
Where the corpses lie prone
Where the maggots and cockroaches play
Where the stiffs go to rot
In their cemetary plot
And the skies are all gloomy and gray

Home, home in the grave
Where I don't have to bathe, brush or shave
Whatever you do
You will end up there too
Resting peacefully while you decay

Old Ded Bob

Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)
And on this farm he had a dyslexic cow
(E-I, E-I, O)
With an "oom-oom" here and an "oom-oom" there
Here an "oom", there an "oom"
Everywhere an "oom-oom"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a nicotine addicted rooster
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "cough, hack, puke, spit" here and a "cough, hack, puke, spit" there
Here a "cough, hack", there a "puke, spit"
Everywhere a "cough, hack, puke, spit"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a substance abusing bull
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "snort-snort" here and a "snort-snort" there
Here a "snort", there a "snort"
Everywhere a "snort-snort"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a cat with multiple personality disorder
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "meow-woof" here and an "oink-moo" there
Here a "squawk", there a "grunt"
Everywhere a "cluck-baa"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a flatulent bird
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "tweet, poot" here and an "tweet, poot" there
Here a "tweet", there a "poot"
Everywhere a "tweet, poot"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a nymphomaniac pig
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "boink-boink" here and an "boink-boink" there
Here a "boink", there a "boink"
Everywhere a "boink-boink"
Old Ded Bob had a dysfunctional farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

And on this farm he had a chicken with a crappy attitude
(E-I, E-I, O)
With a "Cluck you here" and a "Cluck you there"
Here a "Cluck", there a "you"
Everywhere a "Cluck you"
Old Ded Bob, he had a farm
(E-I, E-I, O)

Rudolph the Road-kill Reindeer

Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer
Used to have a shiny nose
Now if you were to see it
You would say it's stiff and froze

All of the other reindeer
Look before they cross the lane
They saw the snowplow coming
At least there wasn't any pain

On that foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say
Even thoough we'll miss our friend
Tonight we're eating venisen

Then how the reindeer loved him
As they ate their christmas deer
Rudolf the Road-kill Reindeer
Not a bit of gristle here!

Take Me Out to a Funeral

Take me out to a funeral
Take me out in a shroud
Buy me a hankie and one black rose (thanks Ariane)
I'll weep like a widow and blow my nose

And it's mourn mourn mourn for the dead guy
This time he's not just asleep
For it's ooooo aaaaak ugh and you're dead
And your six feet deep

The Barney Song

Here's some news, Barney's dead
A big T-Rex chewed off his head
His nasty purple guts spilled on the ground
Everything's quiet in Barney Town

Baby Bop, she's dead too
Sank into some tar-pit goo
As the tar-oil stole her breath
Brought new meaning to black death

Here's the bestest news of all
Those Stepford children big and small
Their painful death's not far away
They're all smoking a pack a day

Ded Bob Zombies Sing This Song (doo-dah, doo-dah)

O...I sure hope you like my show
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
At the end you're free to go
(o, doo-dah-day)

My name's Bob and this is smuj
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
I like women he likes fudge
(o, doo-dah-day)

This is the refrain
It sticks in your brain
"O, doo-dah-day" is your next line
(o, doo-dah-day)

Many ask me how I died
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
Were you stabbed or were you fried?
(o, doo-dah-day)

I was hung from yonder tree
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
Before that I hung to my knee
(o, doo-dah-day)

This is the refrain
It sticks in your brain
"O, doo-dah-day" is your next line
(o, doo-dah-day)

All the blood rushed to my toes
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
Maggots ate away my nose
(o, doo-dah-day)

All my bones stayed nice and strong
(doo-dah, doo-dah)
I have one ten inches long
(o, doo-dah-day)